Mad Women

August slipped away like a moment in time..

Last weekend I karaoked for the first time in close to a decade and it went a little something like this:

Except even I’m not delusional enough to think I’m anything close to the physical perfection that Cassie is so…you can imagine the nose dive my self esteem has taken and which I am still struggling to recover from.

Anyways, a state of the union now that fall is EMINENT:

In: Oregon trail aesthetics, black coffee, mini roses, sweating profusely, ruffles, and 1 wick unscented candles.

Out: complaining, ketamine, “investment” designer pieces, whippets, and umbrellas.

Saving Comrade Stormi

The latest thing the internet is mad at the Kardashians for is King Kyle getting Stormi Baby a school bus. “She’s cosplaying middle class” seemed to be the prevailing complaint. Yes, the internet is ready to steal candy from a baby because she watched the Magic School Bus instead of Saddle Club and her parents got her a bus in lieu of a pony. Also, if you’re going to accuse a 3 year old of a lack of class consciousness at least be accurate in your claims. I have a very close parasocial relationship with Stormi and know for a fact her first words were “Kyle Cosmetics workers unite; you have nothing to lose but your chains.”

When the revolution happens and Antifa storms Calabasas, I will use the repossessed Tom and Erika Jayne Girardi private jet to airlift Stormi Baby out of the ruins and make sure her identity is kept secret so she can be the Princess Anastasia of our time.

A Bit of Lit

Death in Her Hands by Ottessa Moshfegh

I went into this book knowing nothing about the plot except that it was a murder mystery that isn’t a murder mystery. I’d read Eileen and My Year of Rest and Relaxation by Moshfegh and enjoyed both (Eileen is superior) but this one is far and away my favorite. The less you know the better going into the book. It’s a fast, engrossing read from one of our current best writers of unreliable stream of consciousness.

Acts of Desperation by Megan Nolan

Just how Nicole Kidman is who people believe Meryl Streep is Megan Nolan is the writer my nemesis Sally Rooney gets credit for being. The plot is pretty basic, a young woman going nowhere gets into a relationship with someone she considers out of her league and after their break up, is driven to (cue title) acts of desperation. Every story has already been told and Nolan’s writing makes this one worth investing in. All I can say is I’m glad I read this book this month and not a few years ago when I was going through a similar breakup or the thread I was hanging on by would’ve snapped for sure. (insert winking emoji with the tongue sticking out next to the peace sign hand)

Boy Parts by Eliza Clark

Come on guys, I’m begging. I like to have fun. I WANT to have fun! I want to read a book with a selfish bitchy beautiful female protagonist who makes her living selling artsy erotic photos of men who look just barely legal to anonymous people online and who may or may not have killed one of her models and enjoy it! And yet this writing is just bad. Books are an artifact in time and the good ones survive its passage and never lose meaning or relevance. The mistake I encounter over and over in modern fiction is that in a desperate bid to be relevant to the ~internet age~ writers make the mistake of having their characters have ideologies or commentary only one step ahead of the current hot takes. Tell me this character listens to Red Scare without telling me your character listens to Red Scare, type of writing. The problem with this is by the time the book is published, the hot takes that seemed fresh at the time of writing are now already out dated and eye roll inducing. I checked the publication date while reading and was shocked to discover this came out in 2020, because it felt like early 2016.

Anyways, it’s a skip for me but if the one line plot synopsis seems interesting to you, this book is available on Kindle unlimited for free if you sign up for the free trial - JUST REMEMBER TO UNSUBSCRIBE LATER BESTIES!

Unofficial Book Club

Per request, I have decided to list the books I’m currently readying so you can potentially read along. However, buyer beware! I read a few books at once and will sometimes set a book aside for months so no promises these will be featured in the next newsletter but for sure they will be AT SOME POINT!

Currently Reading:

Some Came Running by James Jones (the republished unabridged version - mine’s clocking in at 1025 pages. I’m half way through and loving it so far!

Ceremony by Leslie Marmon Silko

CHAOS: Charles Manson, the CIA, and the Secret History of the Sixties by Tom O’Neill and Dan Piepenbring

The Copenhagen Trilogy by Tove Ditlevsen

Transit by Anna Seghers

I’m also planning to finally get through War and Peace this fall and winter. I bought a really beautiful 4 volume set (even my abnormally large hands have trouble holding that thicc of a novel) and I recommend that route to fellow readers who can’t stand reading on a tablet. A lot of libraries also have it in 3 or 4 volumes you just have to ask!

That’s all folks! See you next week! As usual I did not proofread this!